I never thought i'd have to face the problems im facing now.
I never knew one person's existence can mean so much eventhough i'm always saying that every little thing makes a difference.
Who would have thought that something like this can happen to me.
Im only 15, wait.. 14 plus. i can't handle shits like this. I dont want to.
I dont even want to try, im so tired of trying, so tired of doing things. i dont want to do anything.
Why? why does this things happen to me. ive never done anything wrong, ive never sinned so badly to deserve this, i dont deserve this. i dont.
i need a time out. a long one.

Title-less

Qm dinner 2010 :D Nat and I

Hai, it's 12.17 am now so MERDEKAAAAA! hahah.
Right now the song satu irama is playing again and again on tv. Kept it on eventhough i'm nt watching.
I think i should update my blog more often again for i have nothing else better to do.
Err.. still thinking about the penang post, i think i accidentally deleted alot of the pics so.. might not be blogging bout it anymre.
So, pmr is coming soon and i'm not doing anything about it. I dont really know why but i still dont have the mood to study at all.
Someone needa put my life on the line then maybe.. maybe i might study.
Anyhoo, my stomach condition is getting worst again. Seriously it's so painful i just feel like taking a knife and stab myself. I even bathed while sitting on the bathroom floor today HAHAHA.

Anyway, i cant study while staying at home so if anyone wanna go out to study or something, just gimme a call or text me.
Okay, now im listening to a guy singing about roti canai and teh tarik on tv. Nais

Ohh and earlier this evening, Menn Sze posted something to my facebook wall..

jeng jeng jeng..

http://simplebeans.blogspot.com/2009/02/non-expert-elmo-cupcake-tutorial.html

It's a site of how to make an elmo cupcake! (non-expert)

I wanna make it someday.. maybe during the holidays or after Pmr =)

OHH i wanna say that i found a bat outside my house few days ago!

Its so cute !! but sadly it died the next day, well it was alrdy injured so its not my fault.. i was just preventing it to get eaten by a cat.
Even if it did survive, i doubt i'll still be able to keep it. What if i get rabies man. tsk

I know that most of you know about the bat but did you know about this?

GARDEN SLUG =D

Stated in one of my posts last year, i am very terrified of anything that is related to the worm family, so worms, sea cucumbers, millipedes, centipedes, all those i hate them. (snakes are exceptional cause they cool) BUT this is like the cutest slug i'ver ever seen. SO CUTE HAHAHHA.

Sadly for it, my brother and I killed it with salt. I'm sorry slug but watching it melt was truly fascinating.

On the saturday, i watched High School Musical 1, 2, and 3 again on Disney Channel cause they were announcing the winner of My School Rocks dance competition.. seriously did anyone from my school participated? 'Cause i'd like to ask what's wrong with you, our school doesnt rock k LOL jk. but seriously.

Also, I heard that High School Musical 4 is coming out. I know, i know.. you're like WHAT? i thought they graduated already, how can they have a 'HIGH SCHOOL' musical when they're not in high school?!
Honestly, I also dontknow. They said that Zac Efron is currently considering, you can read it over here.. http://www.buddytv.com/articles/high-school-musical/will-there-be-a-high-school-mu-23975.aspx

But look at what I found..

HAHA, this is the shizz man.. funny..

Soo,, i've been blogging for more than 30 minutes now.. so i'll end this crap here..
Good night. MERDEKA.


(p/s: i totally own in guitar hero, EHEKEHEK)

Love,
Elayne.

Standing strong.

Going through problems ain't easy. It can really break someone down. Much worst for someone whose soul is weaker.
I felt so stubborn and every little thing that bothered me got to my nerves. I even felt like dying was a better option. I never felt so weak before. I felt like i couldnt do anything even if i want to. All i wanted to do was lie down and stare up at the ceiling forever. But i couldnt do that so i went out with friends and all but it wasnt really that helpful, i even felt more stress and a bothered, disturbed feeling. Though i had a talk about it with my mom and several ppl with tears and all, i still couldnt back myself up and keep myself strong to stand up for myself. I became so depressed that i couldnt even do anything, all i could do was cry everyday and night. The feeling was terrible. The situation was helpless. I was helpless too. I couldnt even control my temper. I scolded everyone when i was mad. I couldnt help but to feel so mad, helpless, depressed and lifeless. All i needed was help, strength and support but i couldnt seek for it anywhere. I knew there were people who were willing to help but i realised that it was not because they didnt want to help, it was because i didn't allow them to help. I kept turning theyre advices into words that wont help me. That i couldnt do it. I didnt wanna do it. And then i realised, how can another person help me when i cant even help myself. Everyone knows that there's always a solution to a problem, but they just dontknow what the solution is because they spend most of their time cornering themselves in the corner and running away from the problems. Sometimes you just gotta face it and get over it or try another way with the help of your friends. Theres always a to solve things, thats what i believe. Few months ago i just didnt wannt to believe in that and i didnt want to do anything but now i know that it wont help anything if i just lie there worrying about everything. Maybe in some things you cant solve, then just let time heal it for you. Or bare with it if you can. Theres always a way. I learnt that in life, there's always people, things, situations pulling you down but you have to get right back up to your feet and fight it, for whats right and do the right thing. I cant promise that someday i wont lose my mind and all but i know that i can always pull through whatever it is. I wont allow anything to get in my way anymore.

And just so you know, it isn't necessary for you to compare your life with other ppls. They're still gonna live theirs and you're stil gonna live yours.




Love,
Elayne.

PEDO BEAR!

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