It's nothing about the scars.

It's about what in the inside that glows through the dark.

-

I don't know why but i had the sudden urge to write.
Maybe this is my inner self taking over me, my need to write has suddenly shot up.
Or this could be because I've been writing a whole lot of English papers for the past few months and putting a stop to it has a side effect.
OR it's just because I need to vent out some unwanted feelings implanted in the inside. 
Yeah, that could be it.
Keeping things to yourself for a long time is not good.
I had a talk about it once with my teacher and I've learnt that bottling up your emotions will do you no good. You could think that maybe by doing so, you could bring less trouble to people, stop yourself from thinking about it and just live life normally by putting a fake smile on your face.
But no.
Bottling them up is no use because once it becomes full, your emotions will eventually force themselves out, leaking out one by one or worse, the bottle might break.
And that's when you'll experience a terrible breakdown.
You should always talk about how you feel with other people, that way, you can get feedback and try to find solutions to your problems.
Running away from your problems is not always the best. It's better to deal with them because if you don't, your problems will still be here, haunting you.
So please, share how you feel with the rest of the world because you're never really alone. :)
You only are if you choose to be.

I don't know how to let out how I feel anymore.
Been having major mood swings.
It feels as if I can't ever be at peace, like there's this huge anchor hanging at the bottom of my heart, bringing it down always.
I don't even know what's bothering me so much. Is it because I have really unbalanced hormones?
I really don't know, don't know how to handle this sour feeling that comes from nowhere anymore.
I'm not even supposed to feel this way, even when I don't think of anything negative or just stay as happy go lucky as I am, I still feel this pang that is probably trapped in there from the past, just wanting to get out.


Okay, now I'm here wondering why am I always posting about sad stuff. 
It feels as if my blog is overwhelmed by negative energy.
Even as I read all my previous posts from 2 to 3 years ago, I realised I've been such a pessimistic person.
The funny thing is, people often think of me as a very cheery person and bring positive energy wherever I go.
Boy, did they miss this part of me.
They probably won't believe that I own this blog.



Love,
Elayne.