hoping and wishing.

*warning*
total emo-ness here.
kindly press the red 'X' button if you cannot tahan!! XD.

(p/s) i wrote the whole thing down there before writting this XD.
and now i feel much better LOL.



It's just the beginning of the year and yet i started complaining already.
All of a sudden , i just felt that this year isn't gonna be a good year.
I really feel that this year isn't the same.
It's too different.
like everything is gone.
to be honest i really miss all the 2008 form 2 students laa.
It's not the same without everyone.

I miss last year's form 2 friends.
I miss 1 Arif.
I miss how i used to be.
I miss how i use to have fun with almost everyone.
I miss sophie. ( i miss dancing with you la Dx )
I miss 2008.

I really regretted that i didn't interview for prefects last year.
Now I don't have a chance of being one.
All the form 1's betul betul sporting man.
There were like 97 of them who wanted to be prefects.
All i can do now is just hope.
Hope that teacher will give form 2's a chance. (no chance di lah!)

I've also always looked up to all the seniors.
Cause they were the type.
The type that are not scared or shy.
They were really sporting and active.
Everyone really looked like they're having fun, and they are.
Unlike me , who's always hiding everything inside and trying my best to look happy.
I was jealous.
Jealous of all of them.
thinking,

"how can i be like them?"
"why can't i speak up?"
"what should i do to be like them?"
"what am i to them? am i good enough?"
"i just wanna FIT IN!"

All those thoughts came up to me every time i'm around them.
I've always am all those "SS" kind (everyone says so)
But with them, it doesn't feel like it.
It feels like I have to just listen and laugh.
It feels that i dont fit in, at all.

It really doesn't matter because i was still having a little fun, with everyone.
Compared to this year, I didn't have fun at all.
Well, so far laa.
Form 1 all anti-social is it ? aiya.
come on laa, talk to me laa !

Ahemm, it doesn't matter laa.
Anyway as I said before, it was just "the last year and beginning of the year" opinion.

School at the moment is boring laa.
Seriously bored man.
More bored than when i say BORED.
This time i really mean it.
It's not that "bored" that i usually use.

elayne's dictionary :

bored 1: nothing to do
bored 2: betul betul bored kao eventhough got something to do.

Now the bored that i mean is bored 2.
haha, nevermind.
It's still the beginning of the year only.
I wish i can enjoy the rest of the year better than last year.
That's the wish for this year.

(p/s) I really can't live without kokurikulum activities man. dead bored without it.

enough said.




hopes and wishes,
elayne.