My 24th birthday.

I understand now.

It wasn't just your life going backwards. It was mine too. And you didn't know what to do anymore. It frustrated you. I understand now.

I let myself go, wallowed in the bad things that happened to me. Cried in self pity and didn't pick myself up. That was a grave mistake.

What I did only led to me losing the important things, opportunities and people around me. I was a joke. To everyone, to myself. I should have never went there.

I understand now that to achieve my one true goal in life; to be happy, is not impossible. I had only one thing stopping me, myself. I will not let that happen anymore.

Let my 24th birthday signify this; rebirth and regrowth.

Absorb the good, throw away the bad. Pick myself up, come back stronger. It's okay if it is not perfect now. It is going to be hard, but I will do it anyway. Even if I am crying, I will still do it. Because in the end, it will be done.

Thank you for putting me back into my place. The strong woman who I once was and lost, should never go missing ever again. Things will be very different now. I will embrace this change.

Let go of the pain, but never forget, what is the meaning of my 24th birthday.


Love,
Elayne